We live and when we lose those who me we love we die .
We live and we when we lose our last chance we give up.
We live and when things goes wrong we feel upset
Yet ! my choice and so is everyone is to continue. Simply as that ; how about giving life another chance. We dream so deep and wish it so hard , however disappointments takes place.
Everyday when the sunsets we start a new dream, new wishes , new hopes for tomorrow. As if nothing happened before , as if we never got fell down .
This I call a deep struggling hope . We keep going on ; no matter what goes on. Long term goals , endless hope and an unknown future .
You know how strange it might get as you keep going on you r path. There is no place for ” Give Ups ” and so the only choice we have is to move forward . It’s never easy and I say so because I know what we lose in trying to achieve our dreams. We focus in our future and on that we forget to enjoy life we forget to love and we may lose our family because of some choices.
Now I lay down on the green grass at the midnight , staring at the bright stars. So dark and warm with the lights of the stars decorating the skies – the whole horizon in front of me. There I started again ..
Another dream and another life.
A father I needed …
During my clinical day in the Chest hospital I had a patient who was about 54 years old . A good old man who had done a coronary bypass surgery and I took care of him as a nursing student . He asked me questions about my dad ; where he worked ? how old is he ? and then he said that your father must be proud of you . He asked for his number & wanted to talk to him but I said my father is not here and that he & mom separated. I could see he was sad for me , but I smiled and changed the subject to his medication time . He told the nurse to put a bandage on his wound though its suppose to be exposed ; he said that he don’t want his daughter to be frightened . Me & the nurse bandaged the wound .
Yea ! I have noticed in many of my patient that they care a lot of their daughters . I thought all the father are careless like my father . I thought all the fathers are like mine but I was wrong it seems that all fathers are loving & caring except mine.
For that particular moment I wished if I had a father to be proud of even if he is a loser , even if he is not a doctor or hasn’t an important position . I would still be proud of him just because he’s my father. That moment when I stood in front of that patient I wished I had a father to talk about. I knew nothing about him ; can u imagine not knowing anything about your own dad.It might be stupid to say this but i still love him and if he comes back i would love to say ” Dad ! i love you .” Though i want to question him alot of things but i won’t .. …. Well ! who cares as if i am gonn a see him ever again .
There are times that I cry badly and wish if I was like the rest of the girls. I was only 5 years when he left and I have few memories of him . But here it goes an grown up now, i am strong enought to face the life and i may not really need him around because i made my way through this hard life. There were tuff days and he wasn’t around ; so i guess i got use to it & i can work it out now.
And here comes the end ; once upon a time there was a young girl who wished to say “dad” .
Standing on the edge of a hill , staring there I could see nothing but the wide blue sky , decorated with white clouds . The winter wind breeze that soothes my skin makes me feel so cold. And there the deep blue ocean , that looks so sad and wild . Tides that hit the rocks . As much as this scene is so beautiful yet it hides a lots in side. The sounds of sea gulls flying around . I sat there in silence . And kept looking as the sun sets, as the was going I thought it would never shine again . I remembered my scattered dreams , my endless hope , my wishes ; what happened to them all ? what went wrong? All at once the natures beauty seemed so grieving and despair. I wish ed if I could smile again , I wanted to gain my power of hope back . But it’s hard to be too strong after all.
There I lied down as I got dark on the rusty hard rocks … and felt asleep in hope of another day and another dream.