Goodbye

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It happens so fast. It’s hard , it’s true and yet it Happens.

There are times in our life that things happens for no reason .  Well! Maybe there is a reason but we can’t see it . What matters is that we are hurt and it happened.

People die , people kill, others go without goodbye . This is how the circle of life goes. I can’t get it sometimes , why things have to be so cruel? Why life has to be so insensible!

I find no answers to many questions that are raised in my mind as they are gone.

The only fact is that they are gone and am left alone. And am all alone.

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I wished if it could be much easier. I wished if I can cry hard but I can’t . I miss them , I miss them being in my life again. I miss having then around every day in my life. But its too late . And its not easy to deal with it . Its not easy for me to go through all this .

Would the sun ever rise ? Can I really go on in my life as if nothing happened ? As if I didn’t lose someone in my life. As if am alright !

We never chose this, we never thought of it being that hard, but somehow we knew that a day will come for departure. Goodbye is inevitable so is death . We will face it . The question is ; how strong and understanding you will be when it comes.

NOT  FAIR is not the right word to use but  DESTINY  is .

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We grow up to know and understand how things really go. But when time comes we find ourselves kids again. Its hard but it happens.

Goodbye to you my trusted one. ! You gave me love and helped me find myself…

With love ,

Hoope

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When We Two Parted

 

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When We Two Parted

By : George Gordon, Lord Byron

 

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow–
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shrudder comes o’er me–
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee so well–
Long, long I shall rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met–
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?–
With silence and tears.

Pain to Live

Days pass , weeks pass , months and years too. Yet nothing is to come . And  more pain to live . There are times that i thought all this could be just illusions ,other times that i thought its all over . But it seems that i was just lieing to myself ; faking facts isn’t really the right way to overcome it  nor forget it .

Well i never  did neither forget nor was able to move on. I was pausing it , and pausing it for the right time to come & face it until i realized that i was only ruining my life &  living more in pain….more in past …. more in frustration. What i might say now ; might really be so confusing and mean nothing to anyone . But me ! Me as a person , me as a soul and me as life. I am dying now and non of what i say would matter or make a difference.

I loved life or at least i tried to , things just never went right . The more i smile , the more i go in pain . The more i live the more i get surprised by what people have turned to . People , are certainly a genetically mutated creatures which are not in any means predictable. The more i try to understand the composition of human , the more i hate i myself for trying to. Not only because of what i found out but of what i felt.

My family those which i most loved has abandoned me , my friends those i thought could be my ture friends had left me . None was able to understand me , none was able to see the pain in my eyes nor words . None was able to hug me and tell be ” It’s gonna be alright , you won’t go through this by your own ” None. This was all i needed care and love . To feel that i got people around worried about me . To feel that i belong to somewhere. To feel that i am something.

Doctors asked me who to call after surgery , i said i got none ! And so i lived my most painful days without a dear person around me . Not mother nor father to hug me . Not a sister nor brother to tell me a joke. Not a friend to cry with me. I was alone , so alone as i was did and lived in pain

I am dying and none of this matter now. What hurts the most is that they meant alot to me . And that i will always love them regardless of what they do. Harsh as stone they can be but not me . I was created of something so soft and delicate that even words broke me apart. Long nights of invesigations , blood tests , medications and others that i don’t want to recall. I hid my tears and smiled alot other times at night i cry alot just like a little child . Yes ! I cried .

By the time you get this letter i might i will be in the operating room, waiting an unknown destiny . I may not even make it through . Doctors says that the chances of the survival of such brain surgery  is so minor . I might not live to see life tomorrow. But i only wanted to say that though my life was painful yet , i loved the people in it .

With love .

A letter from a dying girl .

Quotes Of the Day

You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. You’re my love and my best friend. And every day that goes by, it seems like I discover something new about you to love. It’s incredible to me how one person can make such a big difference in my life. You touch my heart in a way I never knew before. I discover something new about you to love. It’s incredible to me how one person can make such a big difference in my life.”

  Unknown

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 Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. 

 Gloria Naylor

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” Lately I’ve been noticing
I say the same things he used to say
And I even find myself acting the very same way
I tap my fingers on the table
To the rhythm in my soul
And I jingle the car keys
When I’m ready to go
When I look in the mirror
He’s right there in my eyes
Starin’ back at me and I realize

The older I get
The more I can see
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me
And he did the best that he could
And I only hope when I have my own family
That everyday I see
A little more of my father in me”

Song for dad – by Keith Urban

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“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

 

Tennessee Williams