I Surrender

 

Staring  out into the night . feeling so lonely . So still and quiet. The stars are hardly visible. What a moonless night it was !

And as I was looking tears fell from my eyes involuntary . I don’t know why but to some point I wouldn’t hide it any longer. I can’t take any of this.  I am not strong I never was. All I did was pretend to be so & lie to myself . Life is not as beautiful as they told me . It’s not an easy game , regardless that I followed all the instructions . Yet!  I couldn’t make through. I don’t belong here. I never did. All I was doing is to adjust and fit in. But myself I never changed. I can’t be what this world asks me to. My purity exceeds. And I chose to stop fighting . My life became nothing but an endless dream.

 Its always said that happiness lies for those who struggle , who suffer. I disagree ; Because there is no happiness waiting them at all. Nothing but more misery and disappointments

 The more I smile and try to find a way out . I fall down , I get up and climb the ladder again. When am too close ; a step away …….almost reached the door . A lighted door, my life , my dreams , my future and my happiness ; all were behind that door.

Unexpectedly , People pulled me down and thrown me away . Away from the last step. Somehow , I was back to where I started from.

I didn’t  cry then. All I knew is that I have to try again , never give up . People surprise us more that you can imagine and life always crushes you. I tried , tried and tired.

 

Now , staring our in that endless night I don’t know if it’s still me . But I cried heavily that it took my breath away . I Surrender.

 

It took my soul, it took HOPE out of me. Don’t want to lose anymore , in fact I lost everything  ; got nothing more to fight for. I Surrender.

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Alone

From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I lov’d, I loved alone.
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by—
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Edgar Allan Poe

Remembrance

COLD in the earth–and the deep snow piled above thee,
   Far, far removed, cold in the dreary grave!
Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
   Sever’d at last by Time’s all-severing wave?

Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
   Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
Resting their wings where heath and fern-leaves cover
   Thy noble heart for ever, ever more?

Cold in the earth–and fifteen wild Decembers
   From those brown hills have melted into spring:
Faithful, indeed, is the spirit that remembers
   After such years of change and suffering!

Sweet Love of youth, forgive, if I forget thee,
   While the world’s tide is bearing me along;
Other desires and other hopes beset me,
   Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong!

No later light has lighten’d up my heaven,
   No second morn has ever shone for me;
All my life’s bliss from thy dear life was given,
   All my life’s bliss is in the grave with thee.

But when the days of golden dreams had perish’d,
   And even Despair was powerless to destroy;
Then did I learn how existence could be cherish’d,
   Strengthen’d and fed without the aid of joy.

Then did I check the tears of useless passion–
   Wean’d my young soul from yearning after thine;
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
   Down to that tomb already more than mine.

And, even yet, I dare not let it languish,
   Dare not indulge in memory’s rapturous pain;
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
   How could I seek the empty world again?

Emily Jane Bronte

Look At Yourself

What do you see when  you look at yourself  in the mirror?

Do you see a weak , firghten person.. trying to find something .. searching for something not knowing what….!

Or you see a smiling optimistic person who lives each day as it comes.. with love & hope.

However , its whatever you see .. is whatever you get.. Better make it good..

Let the picture below speak for itself.

 

cat-lion