Goodbye 2011


Yesterday it was raining . Today it’s sunny. Yesterday was hard time , today it ends. Yesterday they were with us …today they are gone. Yesterday we use to cry and today it’s over. Yesterday was disappointments ; today is another chances. Yesterday was despair;  today is hope. Yesterday was a defeat while today is the overcomes.

What happened this year is somehow is different and special ; it could even be painful to some of us . But most of all is that it’s over and went . Whatever happened will never happen again & whatever we lived we’re not going to live again. But nevertheless, it left inside us something ; whatsoever it is . It left us something unique . An experience , an emotions or even a lesson .

Two Thousand Eleven – is now only a past . What’s ahead is a mysterious could be scary could be good but either ways we have to live it . Two Thousand Twelve – 2012 a year to come . A year to live . A new hope , a new dream , a new wish and a new start. To keep aside whatever caused harm and make a new beginning in a brand new year.

Let’s try to not make it just an add to your age but a life to live . Let’s try to share the happiness and create a smile in the face of those who really matters. Guess what ! since you made it this year;  you’ve got the opportunity to correct things and plant a new tree.

Goodbye 2011 … and thanks for that you gave me. For the pain & suffering that made me stronger, for the laugh and smile that me stand again . For the disappointments that brought overcomes . For the tears that took a lot of me . Thanks for everything  and as every year and no matter how bad things goes; I will keep wishing for a Happy New Year to come. And I will always be waiting for that .




Living With Migraine


Many people think that migraine is just a headache … like everyone’s normal headache. But it’s not true. Because migraine tends to affect your life and ruin your plans for a day or two; sometimes more. Your personality changes, that smiling happy person changes once your attack starts! They are a type of a unilateral headache that is associated with vomiting and nausea you would fear both the lights and sounds. You would prefer to stay in quiet dark room for hours and hours. You would lose your appetite and most of all become so depressed and sad. The hopelessness that captures you and makes you feel that you can’t do anything to change it. No matter how you try to stop the feeling, you can’t it.

I am not going to talk about the medical aspect of migraine because anyone can google that. But I would like to share with you how is the day like living with migraine from a migraineurs point of view.

When you wake up with such an enthusiasm and energy, willing to start this weekend with so many activities. Hanging out with your friends, going to cinema – barbeque with the family; Oh! When it all seems to be a busy weekend … it never ends that way. All at once, you get that migraine attack; everything changes. If you were out with your friends, then the worst that happens is; your mood will change, you will be frown… and you might order anything – nauseated and you feel like you want to just go home and sometimes you have to care for your friends feelings and you might go on with them but you still feel so upset. Headache that eats up your brain… throbbing sound at you left side and around the eye. But if it starts before going out; lucky then you will save your friends these entire disturbance because simply you know you will choose to stay home. And you mind won’t stop from thinking of what caused it!  You’ll keep saying “I was so careful, I stayed away from all the triggers, was it a perfume? Did I have cheese or something from its derivates? Did I oversleep?  What went wrong?  “  

Sometimes nothing went wrong but yet it happens! You will find yourself at many times home- stuck in your dark little room while everyone is out. You will be seen sometimes running for and to the bathroom where you keep vomiting. You skip work and school, friends and family! Just because the attack started. Your whole body becomes so tired and the depression that occupies you; just kills. When you see everyone else is eating those delicious looking chocolates but you can’t ! Because you will end up lying on the bed for coming three days .

What kills the most is when your family and friends don’t understand it! What hurts the most when they say “It’s just a headache, take to tablets of Adol and you will relieve it “Like I never tried it? Or when they put strong perfumes right when you’re standing beside them and no one cares.

Speaking about the treatment! Panadol never works out. Yea! Let me try to remember what all the things I tired are. Ergotamine was the first things prescribed for me – it’s fine but only should be taken before the attacks starts; aura time. Now if you miss it then… it’s useless! Other than its side effects that I hated most; gastrointestinal disturbance & dizziness! I quit it and I didn’t take it for long. Until a doctor told me to try Cafergot which is a combination between Caffeine and Ergotamine . I didn’t take that either for a long time it was only a period of couple months. But what I did take a for a year and was in fact good INDERAL – a medication for heart disease people but it acts as a preventive for migraine and you have to take it on daily bases. It helped a lot and it reduced somehow the attacks but; and there is always a but I couldn’t stand the side effect. Your heartbeats changing most of the time becomes faster and you breaths become uneven. But all that aside… reading the information that’s in the paper of the medicine itself; makes you so scared to take it! So I eventually stopped it. Am not good at taking pills, I just fear them. There is a doctor once said “All medicine are potential of poison “, I am one of the big supporters for that words.

Yea people who has migraine will tend to try many things and as possible to find the cure which don’t exist or at least something to control it. Something to give us a day free from migraine.

And like all migraneurs I have tried none pharmacological ways. A friend once told me try the Flax seeds with yogurts once daily, I did that and it was not bad at all… I mean besides avoiding the triggers. I don’t if it really worked or it was psychological effect only. Let me remember what else I tried! Yea… the Chamomile tea- well they said it helps but at the same time I think it’s healthy to drink it.

Thus, I tried a lot of ways    and ending up currently with no medications and no chamomile or whatever herbs could be! There will times that I will get three attacks in a week and there will a month that I will be migraine free. It’s just how lucky you get to be and how good you are at a voiding that long list of food and things that you don’t have to do, exercising and relaxing plays a role.

I would conclude that no matter how much you read in the diaries of a migraineur you will never be able to feel it and I don’t wish anyone to go through the same thing. But it’s only us migraineurs that understand each other. At times you will feel so lonely that no one undertands and no one feels .




Giving It All Away

Have you ever seen a smile of a poor when you give him a meal …. or the innocence of an orphan girl while you play with her… thankful eyes of a sick when you help him become better. They are only some small views of what you are capable of doing to change the life of people  or even bring  them the hope – that there is still something beautiful in the soul of the people. That beyond all these wars, conflicts , poverty , hatred , economic depression, diseases … among all that which is present on earth ; I still believe that a touch of kindness  can heal … and a soft word can do miracles.

People might have forgotten the poem that illustrates this image that I am talking about :

” Little drops of water,
Little grains of sand,
Make the mighty ocean
And the pleasant land.”


I think that life is all about how much we give not receive ..

How much we share ? and How much we care ?  Then only means a lot .  Then only we can see how happiness feels like .

We have to give it all away and then it will come back to us when we don’t expect it .