Happy 30th Birthday

 

This is for the person I am .. to myself now and to the future me ; although my birthday is not until 2 days yet wanted to post this now.

Here it goes number 30. When I was a kid I was scared of being old…being in 30’s; but I guess it’s not so scary anymore .

There was a time that I was 9 years old and all I wanted to have was super powers or the ability to fly just like in movies; now all I want is to just be content with the few little things that I got. Health , family and someone that I love lying next to me every morning as I wake up. Growing up is a trick so don’t think it’s so glamorous because it’s not. There will be a lot of disappointments, breakups, tears, broken hearts, moments that you high others that you are so down . But most of all there will be lessons – a whole bunch of lessons every time you fail you gain and learn something. The wise person you became, you stop judging people – you’re more likely busy living your own life the way you want .

Everyone went through those moment were they kept crying and said that they couldn’t take it anymore ; well ! believe it or not that’s the moment they got up even stronger and gave life another shot. There were moments that you felt so happy ; that you wanted the clock to just stop . Unfortunately, time didn’t stop nevertheless you were able to freeze those moments in your mind and see them every time you wished. At times life could be so shit however it kept going . Nothing stopped the dice from rolling , it simply went on going whether you liked it or not . Back when I was in school I thought I had all the time; that days were so long . Now I think time is running so fast that I can’t catch a breath.

They say that people are not numbers so age is nothing . It’s your spirit that says it all. So you can be 30 still sexy and beautiful and you can be 20 with a grandma’s heart and appearance . So don’t judge people by how old they are rather by how amazing their soul are !

 “ According to The Telegraph in the UK, women are at their ‘most attractive’ at 30, while men peak at age 34, according to a survey of 2000 people.”

Salute to every women above 30 …your days have just started and to all the men above 34 – you guys rock !

Hope this can make you feel better ; as for me it sure does . Because deep inside I am still shinning ; ambitious ; and am still that beautiful amazing young woman . Whether I am 30 or 60 I intend to keep that spirit . The secret for recipe is having someone to love and beloved. Trust me you won’t age or at least you will grow old together that’s the beauty of it.

New year .. New resolutions .. New dreams .. New wishes

The best is yet to come .

Happy birthday Me.

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Dedication

Dedicated to every soul that touched my heart and made me smile …

To the father that passed away yet his memories still make me smile

To the friends that I  played with at the school playground; my childhood friends .

To the loved ones ; to the broken hearts ; to the forgotten promises ; to those tears that shed our eyes .

To the people that were and will be a reason for the person I am now.

To those who stood beside me and believed in me .

To the world that regardless of how harsh it might have been yet the glimpse of hopes never faded.

Hereby ; I dedicate  my love ; my words ; my thoughts for I owe nothing precious than them.

The more days pass the more you know that what you value is not a materialistic  thing rather of air and the wisdom that follows in it. Who you are ! how you enrich yourself ? That’s what matters . Look deeper inside ; meditate ; reach to your soul … take a time to be with yourself to reflect back on what have you done and what could have been better.

 

RIVER FLOWS IN YOU – YIRUMA

 

To the Moon and Back

Often we force ourselves into things that are not ours ; into day dreams that were so real. Into what we can call illusions but they could have been the best illusions we shared. Do you want to know why ?

Because those feelings happened to be so right at that particular moment, they lifted our spirits up. And they hit straight to our souls; shattered our emotions . How your heart beats so fast ? How your body becomes so warm ? And how your eyes say all the talk while in silence ?

It took them so long to reach to a state of steadiness were nothing can possibility shake us . Nothing were suppose disturb that inner peace . They finally began to adjust with nature, we found love within ourselves and thus learned how to let go and move on. Everything  they worked on was falling apart suddenly. It was like an earthquake strike and left everything scattered. How their hands are still shivering? And how tears falls from their eyes irrationally ?

There they stand face to face , hand in hand , chest in chest  and lips by lips …and everything clams down. That peace they felt was unlike and that’s the moment their souls moved ; the earthquake subsided.

The way sun rises after a long raining season.

The way the tulips blooms .

The way their eyes meet.

The way time suddenly stops .

The way their voice is so tender.

Can someone be the cause of the earthquake and at the same time calms it away?

After such a long journey of loneliness and adjusting with the circumstances and life; finally trying to understand how things are meant to not happen , while others are meant to just let go. After all this training of self-realizations. They get in each other’s  lives; and leave the most beautiful memories that are going to stay within forever. They play the same rhythm of our souls and they started dancing together  . They knew precisely that this dancing won’t last and that the music will stop however at that particular moment all what mattered was that they were happy.  In fact , all was needed was a moment to lit it up.

A whisper was heard saying , “ Love you to the moon and back .”

HAPPY

 

Happiness is YOU

 

happy-the-movie

There are some people in the world without emotions , without care , love . They live their lives in a concept of  “what benefits you have for me” and so equally he will help you. Even families and friends; actually there is no such bond . If we are cousins and I don’t have anything to give you then there is basically no need for you to visit me at hospital when am are sick . I have seen people like that & worst,  I have seen a whole community like that. Barbarian ! They only live searching for the food today. No love , no childhood and eventually no happiness. We’re lucky however, that such world is limited.

Few months back I was sick ,very sick . And the care I saw in the people around me , the love I saw in their eyes ; made me consider what happiness really is ?

Happiness lies in the family and friends and the bond of love between them . That can never break .  You find them supporting , holding hands , hugging and most of all telling you that ” Everything will be alright “.

It’s a blessing to have people you can call ” These are my family and friends”  . Whether  you lost someone in your life or no. To have one member who represents the world to you is enough . Life goes on. Enjoy the moment  and search for what makes you happy . If you look around ; you will find happiness in the face of playing child, in the shining sun, in the flowers and in the old man’s smile who says “Hello” . It’s like the old game that we use to play as kids ; the game when we use to search for happy things around. Play it now as an adult  and search for what makes you happy. Deep inside you know it’s there.

Be Happy

 

Regards,

Hoope

Review on : The Color Of Water

THE COLOR OF WATER

By James McBride

mcbride

 

 

The Color of Water  is  a novel  that has a mixture of many things . James McBride was able to illustrate the discrimination , racism , poverty and the American dream in one of the best seller novels at the New York Times.  McBride talks in one chapter about his childhood and hardships while in another chapter the mother is the narrator for the incidence of her life. His voice and his mother’s voice together in one book.  James  never knew anything about the background of his mother nor did any of his siblings saw or heard any of their mother’s relatives. This has brought many questions to McBride as he grew up. And he insisted on asking his mother about questions of her past and who she was ? Thus , she finally revealed to her children and to the world who Ruth McBride was ! or in fact who Rachel Shilsky was.

 

Rachel Shilsky was from a Polish Jewish family that migrated to the United States of America when she was only a child . They lived in the south Suffolk , Virginia .Where at the time racism against the black and Jews were prominent. Rachel suffered at school and neighborhood from teasing and racism for being Jews;  when Jews were a minority in the States at that period . Rachel was raised in a household that had no love , and no means of any affectionate because of her mean father who had no respect or kindness for her  handicapped mother from polio . Her father , Tateh, was a greedy man who had a store and made the children work there all the time; before school and after school.   Rachel had no love for her father not only  because of the way he treated her mother and brothers ; but also because of the way he treated her. He use to abuse her and she was afraid of him …which eventually made her run away from her house to New York to start a new life and find love . She married a black man and she was reborn being a Christian.

Her mother , whom she loved most  died and she couldn’t even say goodbye to her. Her family refused her and to them she was dead because she married a black man . They sat “ SHIVA “ for her  which means that she’sno more alive to them . That has broken Rachel ‘s heart as she loved her mother so much , she was her eyes and ears in America and translated everything to her. She found peace and rebirth in Christianity. Started a church with her husband . Rachel had 8 children from Mcbride and after his death  from cancer she remarried Jordan and gave birth 4 more . Yes, She raised 12 children in pure love to God and education . She insisted on graduating them from higher schools and thought them on discipline and love. Ruth McBride or Rachel told James that his father Andrew McBride was a man of vision and that without him ; she could be lost.

One point worth mentioning is that Rachel was a very wise lady and never wanted her children to think that they were different from her and to suffer the discrimination . So whenever James use to wonder about why his mother was white ; she use to simply tell him that she was “ light-skinned “. And when he asked about the color of God , she replied that He was the Color of Water. As a child James had many questions about his mother and about the racism he use to face when going with her out. This book makes us live the incidence happened back in early 19’s . Worth reading.

 

Hoope

I Lived In You, Dad !

 

I lived in you , father

I lived for you , Father .

 

And when you are away

Am gone .

And when you are far

Am lost .

 

Your spirit was my guidance  

Your image was my light

The dreams I had about you

was never fake.

 

You hold me tight

You hold high

You gave me love

You gave me strength

 

I lived in you , daddy !

I lived for you …

 

Regards,

Hoope

( Dedicated to my, Father )

 

Facing the days…

 

 It was the weekend, and I was on morning duty. Unlike the rest of the days we only had 15 patients in the ward. Medical ward with 15 patients , that was like WOW !  and there was enough staff covering ; that each nurse  took only one or two patients. While I looked at the mirror as it was raining with that lovely cold wind breeze; the flashback started when I was back in high school . I remember that whenever teachers or friends asked me what would like to be in the future…? My answer was always one. I want to be among sick people . I want to help others. And here I am !

I can still remember when my mother wanted me to be an English teacher , I never had a second thought towards that for my answer was always “ NO “ . And I joined nursing , and I never regretted it . Not even in the worst times.

Every day passes with a great new experience to learn whether it’s in the professional side or the practical life ; because I learn something every moment. And am sure every nurse do .  You won’t imagine what we can learn from caring for the geriatric patients. How every unsaid expression counts ? How every smile makes difference? And How every touch heals a soul ? Not only that but what they give us is much more.

We have a different life outside our working hours , but once we are at work .. once we enter the hospital everything else ends  and we become totally devoted for our patients. We smile and laugh for our patients and we cry and pray for our patients … We Live for them !  Because to them; we are all they count on.

It changes our lives , we change the patient’s life. And we touch their hearts. That it heals all their wounds.  During my time in the hospital , I have realized that it’s the non- medical effect that heals the people. 

So , we keep facing the world.. and we as nurses we put  our lives on the line for sake of others; that is how we are and that is what we’ll  always be .  The world around us is just an opportunity for every nurse whether you are just starting , or been in the field for years or even a nursing student. There will be always much more to discover and find out .

 

Although there are times that we feel  like giving up , but I think that those are the moments that proves our strength most. We give hope and faith to others ; so we can’t lose them ourselves.  Cherish your days not only for what you are but for what you want in the future.

  Regards,

Hoope