Happy 30th Birthday

 

This is for the person I am .. to myself now and to the future me ; although my birthday is not until 2 days yet wanted to post this now.

Here it goes number 30. When I was a kid I was scared of being old…being in 30’s; but I guess it’s not so scary anymore .

There was a time that I was 9 years old and all I wanted to have was super powers or the ability to fly just like in movies; now all I want is to just be content with the few little things that I got. Health , family and someone that I love lying next to me every morning as I wake up. Growing up is a trick so don’t think it’s so glamorous because it’s not. There will be a lot of disappointments, breakups, tears, broken hearts, moments that you high others that you are so down . But most of all there will be lessons – a whole bunch of lessons every time you fail you gain and learn something. The wise person you became, you stop judging people – you’re more likely busy living your own life the way you want .

Everyone went through those moment were they kept crying and said that they couldn’t take it anymore ; well ! believe it or not that’s the moment they got up even stronger and gave life another shot. There were moments that you felt so happy ; that you wanted the clock to just stop . Unfortunately, time didn’t stop nevertheless you were able to freeze those moments in your mind and see them every time you wished. At times life could be so shit however it kept going . Nothing stopped the dice from rolling , it simply went on going whether you liked it or not . Back when I was in school I thought I had all the time; that days were so long . Now I think time is running so fast that I can’t catch a breath.

They say that people are not numbers so age is nothing . It’s your spirit that says it all. So you can be 30 still sexy and beautiful and you can be 20 with a grandma’s heart and appearance . So don’t judge people by how old they are rather by how amazing their soul are !

 “ According to The Telegraph in the UK, women are at their ‘most attractive’ at 30, while men peak at age 34, according to a survey of 2000 people.”

Salute to every women above 30 …your days have just started and to all the men above 34 – you guys rock !

Hope this can make you feel better ; as for me it sure does . Because deep inside I am still shinning ; ambitious ; and am still that beautiful amazing young woman . Whether I am 30 or 60 I intend to keep that spirit . The secret for recipe is having someone to love and beloved. Trust me you won’t age or at least you will grow old together that’s the beauty of it.

New year .. New resolutions .. New dreams .. New wishes

The best is yet to come .

Happy birthday Me.

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Happy Birthday Me !

After 24 yrs , now I celebrate my birthday and i don’t really feel that it means alot. I didn’t even know how many years i turned today ( i had to calculate it ), seriously i thought i was older!  You may consider it rediculous or even that am joking ; but you know it’s true when another year goes by and you sit so lonely looking up at the sun as it sets ; as it takes a day from your life and you’re like ” What the hell changed !”

Yea, It doesn’t matter! What does it even means to have a happy Birthday! What does difference it makes!  … When dear people are far away. And even the dreams i wished didn’t come true .  Waking up and hoping to see your father after 19 years; didn’t even happen ! And the feeling of being wierd among those who are around.  And waking up knowing that many people in your land are dying . Waking and knowing that everything around is falling apart! Waking up and knowing that no one and nothing in life is worth living for ! Waking up and knowing that hatred is stronger than love , that wars are more than Peace and that Freedom cost more than people earns.

A very Happy Birthday Me  when each year i lose more ; when my hope began to fade each and every month. When my smiles despairs everytime.  And when the leaves  eventually fall. Maybe i go to work everday , maybe i go shopping with my sisters, go to movies with my friends ; maybe it seems i am happy with my fake smile. Maybe my illness is taking all of me ….But deep inside I never sleep , and i never smile like i really mean it . The truth is that maybe i am just pretending to live and i never wanna really live !

I use to love it when we use to celebrate my birthday with my friends , and eat my brithday cake .. my friends around , the gifts and ballons ; but most of all the sweet wishes . I was a kid then … and i just wish if i can live that again.  Happy Birthday Me for I found myself once again waiting for the sun to set and for for stars to shine and for a new bright day to come – if it ever existed!  

However, and because it just became a habbit to wish others a Happy Birthday without really meaning it … I would just say ” Happy Birthday Hoope and Hope this year is different than the last.  “

 Always

Hoope