Forever Lost


When your walking in the light , in hope for the life to come back once again .  When you are running so fast towards that thin light . When you living all your life for that only moment  . When you are lost and you got nothing to fight for but that little thing – that little thing that they call hope .  Now it’s gone .

They snatch it from me… they cut it right from my heart and took my heart with it . It’s gone , It’s gone , It’s gone  forever. And I will stay forever lost.

I swear I am not weak , I fought , and fought and took a deep breath when I was drowning to stand again. I smiled when I was dying . I stood up when I was about to fall and give up. I did the best I could  with the best effort I had ; but its gone …. It was all in vain . And I only lived my life in vain .

Alas! I don’t wish to go on anymore . Simply coz I know that what is ahead is just worst and worst .

I believed in values and hope. I believed in change and optimism . I believed in dream coming true when we work hard for it . I believed in future being better. All that is gone . And everything is over.

I gave hope and motive for the despair gave them all that I believed in and they fought with it . But now I am the one who lost it . Yes! I lost it .

Sunken in melancholy , without life , full of tears and pain. Full of failure. Yea ! here I am again . I lost it all . And nothing will change that.

This is the end of the story of hope.


Always and the only ,






Walking in the darkness

Nothing is starkness

Trying so hard to smile

Everything for awhile

Turned to be labile


I wish I just wish

If things could go another way

And start a new day

To see the sun for once shining


Sunken in melancholy

It’s tears I live in

thought out these years

And fears I carry

of how things are gonna be


Am all alone

and things are unknown

Am blown of the track


Walking in the darkness

Nothing is starkness

Trying so hard to smile

Everything for awhile

Turned to be labile




Here another year comes . 2009 is gone and became nothing but a history . A friend once told me :

” The 2009 book has now been closed, we cannot re-write it, but we can definitely read it and learn from our past history (Yes it is part of our History now!).

The first page of the 2010 book is waiting “

That book is closed now.. and i don’t wanna remember it . Yea its gone but with pain , with tearsthat won’t ever dry up. It was a hard time and hard days they left me scars that won’t heal . 2010 started and i couldn’t smile .But now i wanna do this in a different way . I want this year to be better , i want to accomplish more and gain myself back .

The year has already started and only God knows what it hides. Let’s just pray that it won’t carry more pain because i can’t take any more . And am not as strong as when this journey started. It took alot of me .

I hope this year brings me good surprises , I really wish that things change. I wish i find the love and the dreams that i have longed for.

Always and only ,